Divorce is often portrayed in media and film as a lengthy battle full of stress and pain. In most movies and stories depicting divorce, the marital home becomes a battleground, words strategically become weapons, and a spouse suddenly becomes an enemy. If you have seen films like War of the Roses, or Kramer v. Kramer, you have witnessed the most extreme exaggeration of emotional and financial upheaval possible. While many families may go through moments of tension and anger, the situations seen on the big screen do not accurately depict the divorce process presently. Let’s see where in the divorce process film and media sometimes come up short, and where reality prevails.
Post-Divorce Happiness
By the end of a divorce, many characters depicted in film and media are left feeling burnt out and exhausted. They feel powerless, vulnerable, or even unhappy, after months or years of disagreements, spending, and anger.
Divorce can undoubtedly be exhausting, but unlike the burnt out or powerless television character depicted in the media, many clients conclude that post-divorce a revival. There are new beginnings, and potentially the opportunity to have a completely new relationship with a former spouse. The end of a divorce is the start of a new personal journey. In some cases, Attorney Ryder has suggested that its best to look at divorce as empowering.
EXPOSURE OF PRIVACY
Due to media representation, many people may fear intimate and personal details of their relationship and life coming to light for friends and family to see. On the big screen, spouses might take advantage of the divorce process to expose private financial, tax, or employment information in hopes to get an edge on their spouse.
Off the big screen, the divorce process is kept secure. Your privacy is important to us! Our office takes procedures and follows protocol to ensure that confidential information is kept confidential. Sensitive information filed with the court system will never be accessible to the public eye, and private documents are always kept secure.
CUSTODY
The thought of losing custody of a child can be terrifying. When it comes to divorces involving children, films or stories regarding divorce often depict a messy custody battle, with both spouses determined to have sole custody of the children. Both spouses are depicted as believing they deserve to parent the child or children, and them alone. In reality, the lionshare of divorces involving child custody include a parenting plan mutually agreed upon by both parties, which will always be developed with in the best interest of the child or children at the forefront.
It is rare for child custody issues to be tried as there is repeated feedback from the Judge throughout the Court process which facilitates settlement negotiations. Many divorces with a child custody aspect result in a shared parenting plan, allowing both parents to spend time with the child or children. While co-parenting may not seem easy or exciting, it certainly triumphs in comparison to the “spouse versus spouse” battle for sole custody often seen in the media.
MULTIPLE OPTIONS
When depicted in media, the traditional divorce route is always the process depicted. This route is the typical “spouse versus spouse” divorce, with each party having separate representation. However, divorce is not a one-size-fits-all kind of process. There are many options available to become divorced in a peaceful and cost effective manner. Mediation and moving forward with a joint petition for divorce are becoming more and more popular.
The mediation process differs from the traditional divorce process as both spouses execute and file the divorce together, with one attorney assisting the parties to self determine their own plan. Mediation is a collaborative process where the parties work together to create an agreement that works in both of their interests. Mediation provides an option to preserve marital assets and a positive post marital relationship!
While no two divorces are the same, we hope that this article has helped you explore some of the facts and fiction in how divorce is depicted to the public. If you are wondering what the divorce process might look like for you, give us a call or email matthew@ryderlaw.net to set up an initial consultation with one of our attorneys!